What Happened + What I Learned: My First LSD Journey

Before reading this, I want to make a number of things clear:
- Similar to mushrooms, LSD is not legal under Canadian law. Please be aware of this if you plan to engage with either.
- This is my personal experience and I am not an expert. If you do plan to do an LSD journey, please, first, consult an expert and/or do so with someone you trust.
- My relationship with psychedelics, plant medicine or any other drugs mentioned here is for therapeutic purposes. Safety, lab-testing, trusted trauma-informed friends, guides / mentors are paramount for me with every journey I embark on.

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As I begin to write this, I am reminded why it’s so important to put pen to paper within 24 hours of a psychedelic experience. As fast as it moves through you, it moves out of you; unless, of course, you’re able to hold onto it, which is the whole goal of integration. I’ll get to that.

Maybe, first I should start with why I decided to do LSD (otherwise known as acid).

If you read about my mushroom journey earlier this year, you’ll know how profound it was. If you’ve worked with the plant medicine or psilocybin, you’ll know how profound it is.

My Intentions

Ever since I did that journey, and then went to Burning Man (which, was a psychedelic experience in itself, and not because of any drugs that were present – well, maybe a few haha), I’ve vowed to make “remembering” journeys a priority, at least monthly. 

What I mean by that, is that, when I engage with plant medicine and psychedelics, I remember the truth of who I am. I remember and can access my child-like nature. My limiting beliefs slip away. My fear is next to none. I see the goodness that is inherently there, in everything, always.

From this place, I feel like I have everything I need. I don’t force, I don’t rush – relationships, work, people, money. I trust, immensely. It’s for this reason I’ve made “remembering” journeys a priority, for both my personal and professional evolution.

As my dear friend, Jenn, puts it so beautifully: "
“Life is a journey of forgetting, then remembering, then forgetting, then remembering again”.

Does that mean I’m going to drop acid every month? No, because there are so many different modalities that help us to remember, and they’re going to differ for each of us. 

For me, I remember my inherent, abundant, loving nature when I:
- Go to music festivals or raves
- Listen to electronic music
- Dance (on my own, or at ecstatic dance)
- Bike downtown Toronto (can you tell I like adrenaline?)
- Masturbate (better yet, if I give myself a mind-boggling orgasm)
- Read the book PUSSY (why haven’t you read it yet?!)
- Meditate
- Do breathwork
- Run (occasionally)

And, of course, when I engage in psychedelics.

So, flash back to Burning Man, while I left my expectations open, the one thing I knew I wanted to try while I was there was LSD. I had never done it before, and have heard people have profound experiences with it, and specifically at Burning Man (and now after having done LSD and having attended Burning Man, I can 100% see why).

That said, I was really nervous. In fact, while I am open to drug usage for therapeutic and spiritual purposes, I still get scared. I decided to hold off for most of the week and trusted I would know when I wanted to do it.

On the Wednesday, I decided it would be the Friday. And even if you weren’t at Burning Man, you’ll know from the news that Friday is when we got all of that rain that didn’t stop for 2 days straight. All that to say, my LSD desires didn’t come to fruition at Burning Man. I trusted that was the way it was meant to be, and made peace with it.

But, given I got myself to a point of readiness, the desire was still there. So, I suggested to a friend that we plan a “journey” day one of the last weekends of September while the weather was still nice. We’d have our bikes, a speaker with amazing music, beautiful nourishing snacks, our journals and each other.

The Saturday came, and LSD, we did.

THE PREP

Most people will tell you that a positive psychedelic experience is determined by “set and setting” and that is very much true. How you’re feeling the days prior to it, the environment you take the medicine in and the intentions you set, have a big impact on how your journey will go.

My friend and I (her photos are shared in this post with her consent) decided to make her west-end Toronto nature-surrounded home our home base. She picked up beautiful, healthy snacks and green juice and I got us salads. We had our bikes, a speaker, a few playlists and a plan to go down towards the water for a picnic and then we would see where we’d feel guided to go from there.

I should also mention:
- This friend is a dear friend who I feel SUPER comfortable and at home with. I think that is a huge part of “setting” to consider when you’re journeying with someone, or a group of people

- My friend had previously taken LSD from the same source we were going to have, which made me feel comfortable with it, and the dose.

HOW MUCH TO TAKE

As a scaredy cat when it comes to psychedelics, I’ll always err on the side of less, especially for a first time. I’ve yet to actually hallucinate, and while I’m sure it’s a profound experience in many ways, I don’t desire that at this time.

The packaging on the source we got ours from suggested that 1/2 a tab would make for a “mild” experience, 1 tab would be “medium” and 1 1/2 tabs would be “intense”. We decided on 3/4 tab, and while in hindsight, I feel like we could’ve done 1 tab, I’m happy we started there.

LSD vs PSILOCYBIN

Heads up, what I’m about to share is just my personal experience; not necessarily facts. If you want the science, listen to this episode with Daddy Huberman and Dr. Robin Carhart-Harris.

So, here’s my take:

LSD (also known as “acid”)
- Longer journey (8-12 hours)
- Form: saturated absorbent paper
- Feeling: light, bright, happy, joyful
- Waves of feeling “high” followed by feeling sober again

Psilocybin (also known as “mushrooms”)
- Short-moderate journey (4-6 hours)
- Form: dried mushrooms, capsules or chocolate (I like this brand. Use “loverachel” for 10% off)
- Feeling: a range of light, bright, happy, joyful to dark, inward (I find mushrooms mirror or accentuate what you’re already feeling)
- Recommended source: Sero (use “loverachel” for 10% off)

THE JOURNEY (the fine details)

Once we shared our intentions and “cheers’d” our LSD tabs, we began our bike ride journey down to the lake. LSD takes about an hour to settle in (and requires you to leave the tab in your mouth the whole time, which was kind of weird to be honest) and we had a 30 minute bike ride ahead of us. I should also mention we took it at 2pm (2:38pm to be exact lol) as it can be a long journey (upwards of 8-12 hours) and I didn’t want to be up all night.

It “hit” about exactly an hour in. I know because, all of a sudden, everything became more beautiful. The grass looked like it was dancing. The trees came alive. And dogs looked hilarious. Also, because I had so much palpable joy running through my body.

I decided to not wear underwear that day to be super connected to my goddess energy (“Pussy” style a la Mama Gena), which was a huge mistake because I definitely peed my pants laughing multiple times in those first couple hours.

Some nausea would creep in, then it would disappear. But, for the most part, it was good and that’s what I loved about the “come up” experience with LSD. Often, I don’t like the “come up” experience of drugs (specifically MDMA, but sometimes mushrooms, too) and with LSD, I hardly noticed it at all. It’s like one reality bled into the next seamlessly.

What I noticed is that LSD comes in waves. So, you’d get a huge wave of it where it would be obvious you’re on something, and then the next moment, you’d feel almost sober. Some of the waves would come with nausea, so after a few of those, my friend and I decided it would be better to get back on our bikes and move. Biking with music blaring from the speaker felt SO good.

While it’s ideal to not have “to do’s” while on a psychedelic journey, our speaker died and music was PARAMOUNT for our journey (or, so we thought – more on this shortly). I called up my sister, told her I was on a psychedelic journey and wouldn’t want to talk much (lol), but asked if she could meet me outside her place to lend me her charged speaker.

We began our journey over there and immediately noticed an energy shift, given that we just went from beautiful nature vibes to King West in Toronto (if you know, you know). It is so interesting to look at “regular life” while on a psychedelic journey.

Somehow, the robotic-like nature of our day-to-day life stands out even more and it’s hard to not look at it without thinking “Wow, is that how we’re really living?”

That aside, we got the speaker, then realized we would have to start biking home to my friend’s around the Junction area of Toronto to get there before the sun set. This is when things got REALLY interesting.

I noticed my body resisted that idea HARD. The idea of having to gun it to be somewhere felt SO wrong. My body was saying an angry “NO!!”. It felt like reverting back to our regular lives of rushing around, living by a schedule and having to be places and I was enjoying the random, spontaneous flow of our journey. I would’ve preferred to keep biking until sunset, locking our bikes somewhere or dropping them at my place downtown and then Ubering back.

That said, we previously decided we would go back to my friend’s place and when you commit to a journey with a friend, I believe it’s important to stick together (unless you’re at Burning Man, then go do whatever the hell you want haha).

And so, the journey home began.

But, within minutes, my abdomen began to cramp really badly. I had to sit down on a curb, or in some cases, lay down on people’s front lawn multiple times (shout out to you, if it was your lawn).

One thing I really enjoy about being under the influence of psychedelics is the ability to access your truth and to be radically honest. And, my truth was that I never wanted to bike home at all – and my body made that very clear.

If my body could talk, it would have said, “Why the fuck are we doing this?” and “I’m SO tired” and “I DON’T want to do this”.

I actually thought it was so cool how clearly my body was communicating my truth to me, and it made me think, how often do we override our truth and our desires in our everyday life? it also got me thinking how that might manifest as tension, or disease (“dis-ease”) in the body without us realizing it.

What was really cool about the cramping and frustration that came from it was the open line of communication it created between my friend and I. I made it very clear that I was on board with our plan and that nothing needs to be changed or fixed AND my body is really angry. The both can co-exist (duality, baby). Once she was able to see that it had nothing to do with her (it’s never about the other person) and that it was just my truth, and was nothing that needed to be changed, we were able to move on. And I felt SO MUCH better for being able to radically express my truth. Fuck, like SO much.

Later in this post, I talk about things happening for a reason and everything happening in its own divine time, and this was one of them. One of my cramps happened around this mural in the following photo. If you live in Toronto, you’ve probably passed by it hundreds of times without really realizing it. Because I had to sit down for a bit, my friend and I found ourselves getting lost in how profound this mural was. It felt like a true visual representation of what I am hoping to embody and build in this world - women, connected to their truth and power, expressing their most radiant selves, in support and collaboration with each other. At one point, I went “That one’s body actually looks like mine!”. And, well, naturally that had to be captured.

We eventually made it home. I’ve never been so happy to be back at home (or, my friends house), but it took a bit for the relief to settle in. My body was still really angry with me. In hindsight, we biked A LOT that day in the hot sun (it was one of the last summer-feeling days we had) and probably didn’t drink enough water, too. Note to self, and to you if you’re doing a psychedelic journey – a lot of water, always.

I collapsed on the shared front lawn of my friend and her neighbour’s, just as her neighbour was walking over with her two kids. It felt like most of the LSD had worn off by then (6 hours later) – thank god, because I fear conversations when I’m under the influence of anything with a sober person and I’m not sure her neighbour would’ve understood two grown women doing a LSD journey on a random Saturday.

As I was laying like a splayed starfish on the lawn, her daughter Raya (name changed for anonymous purposes) began inching her way towards me,. She was conveniently wearing a very psychedelic-friendly fuzzy rainbow sweater. I swear, she was tapped into my experience (kids often are) because she kept inching closer and closer to me until she was basically on top of me. She smiled and giggled in my presence, and proceeded to force her head into mine while making silly faces. It could’ve easily been the scene out of a creepy horror movie starring the cryptically, happy but watch-the-fuck-out kid, but because I was in a good head space, I enjoyed the oddity of the moment.

My friend and I were craving some solo time at that point, so while she showered, I laid in her grassy, fairy-like backyard up at the twinkle lights and plugged in this meditation – and the most perfect, and stunning meditation it was.

At the end of the meditation, the guide (aka my friend Darius) asked, “What are you ready to let go of?”

And instantly, the answer came through so clearly: “The belief that I need to do it all on my own”

In addition to that, I had the most vivid visual come through. To preface what I’m about to share, I feel very grateful to have a ton of super supportive people in my life that really see me; people that I can go to on a self-doubty day and reflect back to me who I really am. People that say to me, “You’re RACHEL”.

During the meditation, I got a hit: What if I restructured my team to be those people who reflect back to me, “YOU’RE. RACHEL”. I have those people as my friends and family, but what if my assistant, graphic designer, accountant, marketing strategist and operations lead all carried the same sentiment?

There was a part of me that wondered if that was self-indulgent.

Then, I remembered, when I remember who I am, I do great sh*t in this world. When I remember who I am, I have the capacity and potential to help thousands of people.

Rewind to the meditation, Darius had us visualizing ourselves walking up a mountain where we could see the peak from a short distance. I imagined myself carrying bricks, and with the new insight of letting go of the idea that I have to do it all on my own, I began to turn to my sisters around me, my team, giving them a look that said “Can I trust you?” and them nodding and me passing them a break. By the end of it, we were all climbing the mountain together, all sharing the weight of the load, knowing we were all on this shared mission to better the world together. That’s when the tears began to pour down my face.

After the meditation, I swapped places with my friend to go have a shower – and the yummiest shower it was. Wow. There was something about the hot water kissing my body after a big day of activity and while officially coming down from LSD that was just the yummiest. I remember the water pouring down on me and me looking up in full receiving of it like the water was my masculine; my dom. Oooooooof. I also got a hit for a business idea as I was exfoliating my body, but I’m going to leave that one as a surprise :).

We completed the day having snacks and listening to music in my friend’s “zen den” as I occasionally put on a light whip light show for her (you know, the usual).

INTEGRATION

It’s one thing to do psychedelic journeys and get all of these downloads and insights, but it’s another to integrate them. Integration is going to look differently for everyone, but here are some things I would recommend that have often felt nice the day(s) after a psychedelic journey:

• Plan for a completely open free day the next day. Don’t make any plans, unless you decide you want to. the day of

• Eat really nourishing food and drink a lot of water

• Ensure you get a good rest the night prior, or nap the following day if need be

• Journal: I like to write down all of my insights / downloads as soon as I’ve “come down” so they’re fresh in my mind, but you can also write down what you recall the day later. Trust that what you remember is all you were meant to remember

• Share your reflections and learnings with a trusted friend or partner

CLOSING THOUGHTS

It was a beautiful day. I will say, that the days followed, I felt a bit lower than usual. That said, I think that had more to do with entering my luteal phase of my menstrual cycle because my friend who’s done it a couple times now reported feeling amazing in the days to follow. I truly don’t think it had anything to do with that, but I wanted to not hold back any parts of the experience here in the event that you are mapping out a journey for yourself.

I’m still so glad I did it and feel so grateful for psychedelics and their ability to ignite the inner child joy within me, to show me what’s real, to teach me and to show me what I need to see.

Oh, and the kicker of going out of our way to get the second speaker from my sister is that we didn’t even end up using it. Upon reflecting, it became clear that the speaker lasted for as long as it needed to. It was always meant to die when it did. And, we were completely fine without it at that point in hindsight. Proof that, we are always being served up, not necessarily what we want, but what we need. Remember that, for when your sweet human-y ways start to pipe up and run the show. Remember, that the odds of you being here, reading this, are 1 in 400 quadrillion and that you didn’t even have to lift a finger :).