019: Designing Your Dream Relationship With Yourself & Others Using Mindfulness with Melanie Tsesler
How can we incorporate mindfulness in our lives and nurture our relationships through it? Mindfulness expert and couples counselor, Melanie Tsesler, is here to talk about all things mindfulness. Known for her down-to-earth, engaging and kind-hearted demeanor, Melanie helps people heal their relationship with themselves, so they can be happier in their relationship with others, as well as their relationship with food and technology. She works with clients to dig deep and uncover the blocks that prevent them from realizing their fullest potential and gives them the necessary tools to achieve their goals.
Tune in on: iTunes, Spotify, Google Play Music or Stitcher
In this episode we discuss:
The role mindfulness plays in our daily life, in our relationships with friends & family, romantic relationships, food and technology
Finding peace with past relationships through mindfulness
“Why is this happening TO me?” vs. “Why is this happening FOR me?”
Where to start in your relationship with yourself
How mindfulness works in romantic relationships
Love languages: how to figure out yours and your partners
How understanding love languages can help facilitate positive communication in relationships
How to give yourself your own love language
The biggest issue in relationships that causes friction
Mindfulness as a tool for navigating a breakup
Boundaries and how can we go about setting them
Mindful driving and why it matters
Fostering a positive relationship with technology without doing a whole digital detox
Key Takeaways:
Mindfulness is being more aware in this present moment. Without thinking about it, most of the time, our thoughts are either in the past or in the future. We’re either ruminating about something that has already happened or thinking about something that hasn’t even happened yet. Mindfulness is that awareness of being in the here and now.
We miss our life completely if we’re constantly thinking of other moments other than the one that we are in right now. Mindfulness is just bringing us back to the present moment.
Mindfulness ultimately leads to happiness.
Filling your cup is not necessarily about doing things. Sometimes, it can be about undoing some things and removing things from your day, removing people and removing toxicity.
Self-love is incredibly important. You give it to yourself first and then that spills over and other people are able to give it to you, too. You can’t really only look for love from an outside source because then you’re allowing someone else to be responsible for your happiness.
Action Steps:
Start working on your relationship with yourself and see how you are actually treating yourself.
Set boundaries when it comes to your relationships with friends and family.
Be aware of your partner’s love language and don’t be afraid to ask for yours when you need it.
When you’re going through a breakup, don’t gloss over it but allow yourself to feel.
Allow yourself to be mindful when you’re eating and when you’re driving.
Join Melanie’s Mindset and Relationship Academy! It’s a 6-week online program that’s completely tailored to every individual to help remove the blocks that are preventing them from moving forward in their lives.
Melanie said:
“[Being in the now] ultimately leads to happiness because if we sort of allow ourselves to wander into the what if and into that kind of realm into the future or we ruminate into something that happened in the past, that’s when the anxiety and the depression and all that stress lives.”
“With mindfulness, you’re not going to do it perfectly. You’re not going to just wake up tomorrow and be this perfect human being that’s completely mindful… That’s not reality. We want to just try it on every single day and see how I can be a little bit more mindful today.”
Show Sponsor:
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Links to things we talk about in the show:
Episode 7: We Went to Couples Therapy
More from Melanie Tsesler:
Melanie’s Instagram (@mindful_beginnings)
The Connection Between Happiness and Mindfulness
YOU’RE INVITED!