001. Sex, Tapas and Electronic Music (on my Barcelona lover)

I had lined up a couple Hinge dates for when I arrived in Barcelona. Despite no longer being a dating app user, I like to do this when traveling as a way to meet new people when arriving to a new city, get myself a hot local tour guide and maybe squeeze in some sexy fun. While the dates were fun and sexy, they were missing that spark, and, at that point, I'd rather enjoy my own company than void-fill with someone else's.

My first and only weekend in Barcelona was nearing, and as an up and coming DJ on the scene (gotta pump your own tires, k?), I was PUMPED for a weekend of electronic music and dance.

I came across this afro electronic event happening at a place called Marula Cafe. I'm on a BIG afro house kick right now (if you're in Toronto, you've got to check out a show by Afrique Like Me)

And, one thing that may surprise you about me, is that, despite LOVING music and dance, I hate dancing with other people. Like, I LIKE dancing with people and friends around me, but I like to be in my own world when I dance. So, the idea of going to this club on my own, despite having a friend in Barcelona I could've invited, didn't scare me in the slightest.

When I got to Marula Cafe, I grabbed a beer and found a corner to sway in before the featured artist (AFROSIDERAL) began. My new thing since being off dating apps is to use real life as a dating app, so I've become really intentional with making eye contact with people, and if i'm interested, I hold the gaze a little bit longer just to the brink of uncomfortable weirdness so they feel that ping in their gut. I used my IRL "swipe right" feature on this tall, beautiful Cuban man, but we didn't get to the point of uncomfortable weirdness, so I let it go.

But, the Universe didn't.

Later, just before the show started, I was heading to the bathroom just as the tall beautiful Cuban man was coming out of the bathroom.

I wish I could act out the next moment for you because it was a proper movie moment when time and everything around me froze and stood still.

We were just about to pass each other, but instead, we stopped in our tracks and slowly turned towards each other like magnets that couldn't deny their attraction.

"Hi", he said.

"Hi," I responded with a sweet smile.

"I'm Gabe*" (name changed so you can't go creep him in my followers lol)

"I'm Rachel"

And, from that moment forward, for the rest of the weekend, our magnetic pull continued.

While it may have interfered with my plans for a solo rip on the dance floor, I LOVED dancing with him. This guy had serious SWAG and our energies danced well together.

After 2 hours of dancing and smooching on the dance floor came that moment where you contemplate whether you're going to exercise self-control or follow your horn dog desires. I opted for the latter.

We went back to my place and made love for hours. During a break in our roll around, he mentioned this live music event on the mountain he was going to on his own on Sunday called La Caseta Del Migida (highly recommend adding this to your Barcelona list). He had no idea I'm obsessed with music and all I wanted to do for the weekend was to be around it. That was the easiest YES!

Sunday came, and before he came to pick me up, I got a bit nervous. Context: While his english is actually very good, he's not 100% fluent and I'm not 100% fluent in Spanish. "What if we have a language barrier and actually can't have a conversation?" I thought. "Oh well", I quickly recovered, "At the very least, our bodies and energy know how to talk".

He picked me up, surprised me with a bracelet he got in Girona the day prior (I've noticed Latino men do things like this and I LOVE IT), we went on our way, had a wonderful time then came back to my place and made love for another 3 hours. Conversation was not an issue at any part of it ;).

"I want to take you for paella at my favourite place tomorrow", he said before he left.

Paella was the last on my "must eat in Barcelona" list, but is tricky to order as a solo person because of how big it is (and intended for sharing). Again, an easy YES.

I met him at the paella spot, right by the beach, in front of the sea. He ordered every kind of croquette (as if I hadn't consumed enough of those during my week in Barcelona already), paella and we split a bottle of wine.

"If it's okay with you, we're not going to eat dessert here. I want to take you to my favourite gelato place".

Music to my ears. I love a man that leads in the bedroom, and in food.

Better yet, when you like the flavour of gelato he chose better than yours and he gives you the rest of his cone. Swoon!

When I sat down at lunch, he slid a copy of his book over the table. He's a writer, and I playfully mentioned I'd love a copy of his book to help me practice reading Spanish. Cute in theory, but perhaps a lofty aspiration given the subject matter is highly political and philosophical (and yes, I'm being vague to maintain some mystery so you can't go sleuth him out).

When he first mentioned his book on Sunday, I flirtatiously requested he write a love note in the first page. "Done. I already know what I'm going to write".

(Huh? What? What's he going to write? Is this guy in love with me and that's why he already knows?)

Hold that thought. We're going to come back to that.

After paella and gelato, we strolled back to my place, hand in hand, for a siesta (which, we both knew would not be just a siesta).

We got lost in yet another vortex together and it was now our last 10 minutes together before we had to part for our evening plans. It's a wild thing to see 10 minutes left on the clock before you might not ever see someone again.

"What do you want to do for our last 10 minutes together?" I asked.

I don't need to tell you. You know very well what we did for our last 10 minutes.

While getting dressed, he turned on a track from one of his favourite Cuban artists, CIMAFUNK, and began dancing around in his cute, swag-y way.

"Are we going to finish this the way we started?"

I joined him, and like the tragic, but painstakingly beautiful part of a movie, we danced around in my living room in our underwear in pure utter joy together.

I kissed him goodbye and said "gracias, gracias, gracias" and when the door closed, I burst into tears.

I opened his book and and re-read the note he wrote in the front page, to the tune of "Threshold" by Joel Shearer (one of my favourite ambient artists) like the good little emo Pisces I am.

"For Rachel ...", it began.

"Enjoy this little piece of Cuban history. Thank you for sharing your time with me. In these wonderful moments that I have spent with you, it becomes clear that spontaneity is one of the pleasures of existence. With love, Gabe".

More than having the deep pleasure of meeting this incredible man, what brought me to tears was the gratitude overflowing in my heart for what we just experienced together.

Rarely, do we allow ourselves to fully enjoy and take in the present moment.

Almost always, especially in dating, we're playing out the story of what happens next, what it all means and what it could all be, what our parents or friends will think, as an indicator as to whether we should move forward or not.

But, instead, we just followed one desire to the next without overthinking it.

That, and I didn't go out that Friday in search of a man. I went out in pursuit of cultivating my own joy with dance and music. And there, a whole magical oasis awaited me.

I don't know what will happen next for Gabe and I, and I'm at peace with that.

I know that something as extraordinary as we experienced cannot be forced.

And, if it happened once, it will happen again.

Providing we're willing to

trust the timing of our lives

trust in our wildest desires

trust in the flow of life.