I can’t tell you how long I held onto my size 2 jeans for, just hoping that one day, I would fit into them again. Did I mention these were the jeans that I wore at the peak of my eating disorder? Yup, real realistic, Rach. Why do we do these things to ourselves? I understand the mentality, because I was in it, but knowing what I know now and looking back, this is complete self-sabotage.
Let me explain:
No one ever gets a warm fuzzy feeling from looking at the pair of jeans that no longer fit them that have been hanging in their closet for 5+ years, do they? The same goes for trying to squeeze into them just for the sake of satisfying your psyche that you’re wearing a size ____ (insert desired size here). If anything, it makes you feel worse about yourself. It’s a constant reminder that you’re not where you want yourself to be, that you’re too much of this and not enough of that. We all know that feeling of squeezing into our “skinny” clothes and the feeling of discomfort that comes with it. We also know what it feels like to wear clothes that are actually comfortable, or that flatter our body, or make us feel confident and hot! Imagine what happened if we started doing more of that?!
It took me a long time to realize that this was way more effective than hanging onto my “skinnier” clothes. But I want you to know, you’re not wrong for thinking this way. Society and diet culture are notorious for drilling ideas into our mind that a size 2 is more superior than a size 12, that abs are better than softness and that god forbid we have a muffin top. But the more we believe these things to be true, the more we continue to find these flaws within ourselves which leads to a an overall feeling of not feeling very good about ourselves. Then, in comes the Ben & Jerry’s, to make us feel better for just a moment in time, only to be met with feelings of guilt, shame and disappointment later. Do you see how this cycle can become vicious and negative very quickly?
Now on the other hand, what if we were to invest in a pair of jeans that:
1. Actually fit us
2. Are actually comfortable (like “I-swear-I’m-wearing-leggings” comfortable)
3. Make us feel confident as heck
NOW we’re talking! It may take you a while to get past the number. You may have to cut the tag off of your clothes for a period of time until you start becoming more okay with buying the size that fits you. But the goal of this, is to ultimately focus on HOW YOU FEEL. Focus on how comfortable you feel when you wear jeans or a shirt that fits you and how that affects your mood, your energy levels and your outlook on life.
I know some people think if they buy a size up from what they are, even though it’s more comfortable, that it will lead them in that direction. But actually, it’s the complete opposite. It’s trying to live in a size 6 world and clothes when in fact, we’re an 8 or a 10, that prevents us from finding our setpoint weight and achieving a healthy relationship with food.
It’s very rare that numbers bring us happiness, so why are we turning to such things to determine our self-worth? You are worth way more than a number tells you that you are. Have you ever walked away from a meal feeling happy knowing how many calories you ate? Or what number you saw on the scale? More often than not, probably not.
You see, when we move away from the “quantitative” world and over to the “qualitative” side of things, we are able to recognize what makes us feel good on the inside and when we feel good on the inside, we feel (and look) good on the outside! It makes us want to do better for ourselves and treat ourselves with self-respect; not punish or soothe our emotions with food.
So how exactly do we go about this? How can you start wearing the size that fits you now, guilt-free and with pride?
1. Throw out any clothes that you’re holding onto that no longer fit
I mentioned this earlier, but we already know that by keeping these clothes and wishing we’ll fit into them one day, it’s not serving us in any way. It’s wearing down our self-worth and ultimately keeping us from feeling best, emotionally, mentally and physically. It’s time to toss them out! I know, this is painful – especially when you might have spent a bit more money than you might have usually, but remember, they aren’t serving you. They are simply occupying space in your closet and your mind. Package them up in a bag and donate them, knowing they will provide someone with clothes that needs them!
2. Buy new clothes that actually fit you
Yes, this comes with a bit of an additional cost but it’s worth it! You will realize how worth it is when you discover how good it feels to wear clothes that are comfortable and that flatter your body. When shopping, I would recommend that you bring a few size options in the change room and one by one, try each piece of clothing on, without looking at the size. At the end of it, choose the one that fits you and feels the best. It’s that simple and it feels THAT good! I can vouch for this as I sit here in my American Eagle jeans that I’m convinced are secretly sweatpants (yup, they’re that comfy!) And no, I wasn’t paid to say that, and yes, American Eagle jeans are the bomb diggity!
So, are you up for the challenge? Start with one article of clothing and do a little swap-a-roo and see how it feels. Share your experiences in the comments below – I want to hear it!
Registration for my upcoming workshop on Sunday November 5th 2017, Finding Freedom: An Introduction To Healing Your Emotional Eating is now open! You will learn how to define health on your own terms, make friends with food and start loving your body in this 4-hour workshop with 20 uplifting, inspiring women! Use the discount code “FF50OFF” at check out to get $50 off of your registration fee. Register here (spots are limited!)